Every single blessing that I have in my life makes two things abundantly clear to me: I serve a God who gives gracious, undeserved, incredible gifts, and I cannot and should never take those gifts for granted.
Without question, one of my most valuable gifts is my mother.
Her wisdom, strength, beauty, humility, heart, and humor have marked my life forever. I could never thank God enough for the eternal blessing He has given me in my mom. I couldn’t ask for a better example of a godly woman to look up to. And doing life alongside her and learning from her makes the task of becoming a great “woman” a lot less daunting.
Today as I reflected on my mom and the gift she is to me and all of our family and friends, my heart broke for so many others that don’t have a rock like her. But if I’ve learned anything from my mom and her testimony, your role models and family dynamic don't ever have to be a prescription for your future. There is freedom and power in Jesus to change your narrative, which is exactly what my mom has done time after time. It’s also what I’ve learned to do from her example.
So, with all that being said, I’d love to share my favorite nuggets of wisdom from the queen herself, Renee’ (Nene) Barron for those of you that might have a not-so-stunning view of what makes a great woman great.
I was there for a long time and I’m still there sometimes. But, because of the BIG BIG love of God, I’m learning and healing more each day.
Here’s to not taking incredible wisdom and biblical truths for granted any longer ;)
Be a friend to other girls. This one seems really obvious, but I promise you it isn’t. I can’t tell you how easy it is to look at other girls and immediately compare yourself to them, especially if they’re getting male attention and you aren’t. It’s so hard to not pit yourself against other women and tear them down to give yourself an ego boost. Thank GOD that my mom never let that kind of attitude fly in our house.
She is constantly reminding me and my sister to fight for other women, give them grace and empower them to see themselves how Jesus sees them. I truly believe my ability to be a girl’s girl stems from my mom’s heart for other women. Empathize with them, give them the benefit of the doubt, and give them grace. You need sister-like relationships in your life, especially in your walk with Christ.
There is ALWAYS a gray area. I am such a justice-oriented person that sometimes it physically pains me to try to see things from the other side if I think I’m being wronged. However, perception shifting is a necessity if you want to walk a day in this world without going insane. Living in the black and whiteness of your own mind will make you insufferable to be around, and I say that with much love and EXPERIENCE.
One of the most valuable lessons my mom has shown me is how to remove my feelings from a conflict and to see things from a different perspective. There is my side, the other person’s side, and then the truth. The gray area of an argument is usually somewhere in the middle, where everyone is a little bit in the wrong. There is never a conflict that isn’t the result of two sinful people being sinful people. And let me tell you it is freeing to humble yourself where you’re comfortable in knowing your point of view isn't always accurate, and that the only person who is always right is the Lord!! Your relationships will be so blessed if you can grasp this.
You are worthy because Jesus says you are. This one is still so difficult for me to believe, but I truly see my mom fighting tooth and nail to instill this in the many women she pours into every week. Life is so hard. It’s even harder when you’re constantly fighting the lie of believing you’re only as valuable as you are sexy. Living life to be visually and emotionally pleasing to men is a life of slavery. You are beyond worthy, valuable, lovable, capable, and STRONG because of Christ in you. And if Christ isn’t in you, message me and I have some good news to share :) Our physical bodies are literally the least important things we have to offer the world. And when my mom says she fights the lies of the enemy through prayer and scripture she means it with her whole heart. You need the words of the living God to fight the battle against the demons of self-hatred and body image issues.
There is POWER in forgiveness and vulnerability. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not in awe of the humility my mom has shown in the way she forgives others. Her ability to walk in vulnerability and share her heart with others is a gift I can only dream of having. When the world screams at us to hold grudges, stay angry, and shut others out after being hurt, Jesus empowers us to stay soft anyway. Staying soft is an act of true obedience to the Lord.
How powerful is it to look in the face of betrayal or being taken advantage of and say “God’s got me, I don’t have to worry about protecting myself?” There’s freedom in that but it requires such a deep relationship with Jesus that is formed through consistent intentionality.
So many of us women walk around projecting our past bad experiences onto everyone else in our lives. It’s easy to let our hearts grow hard and untrusting and bitter because, to be honest, most of us have endured some pretty bad crap. But the strength my mom has shown in allowing herself to forgive the offenses against her and allowing her heart to remain vulnerable is such a convicting characteristic to witness.
This last one is a lesson that I learned because it changed my life.
Nobody on this earth is too far gone for the saving grace of Jesus. Keep praying. They might laugh in your face like I did to her, keep praying. They might scream and tell you you’re stupid or dramatic or naive like I did to her, keep praying. They might come home drunk, blow all of their money, drop out of school, make awful dating choices, and truly make you question their safety every time they leave your house like i did, keep on praying. There wasn’t a shred of hope I had given my mom to make her believe I would eventually give my life to the Lord, but she was faithful, and she knew the scripture, and she prayed, and here I am 24 years later walking with Jesus every day.
My mom prayed everyone in our family right into the hands of God. Through addiction and trauma and brokenness and rejection, she had unshakeable faith that God would come through, and He did. Our family was eventually restored and reunited by the love of Jesus. It didn’t come easily or overnight, and I’m sure that there were moments that she didn’t even feel like praying for us, but she still did. I can say with complete confidence that if He did it for me, He can and will absolutely do it for whoever is on your “list”. Please do not lose faith. Your prayer might be the only thing keeping them alive. It’s going to change their eternity one day. And even if you don’t have the desire to keep going, pray for that to be renewed. It’s that important.
Let me encourage you on this special day of celebrating women that you, too, have immeasurable potential and capability to love others ferociously, to life a life wise beyond your years, and to impact this world in a way that changes the lives of everyone you come into contact with through the power of Christ. Let His love show you who He has created you to be.
Be that kind of a woman. A Galatians 5:22-23 woman.
(She’s going to kill me for posting this, btw.)